Opening the lines of communication.

This past week we had the exchange organization representative visit and discuss how Aya and our family was getting along.

A few weeks prior Aya had gone over the reps home in order to get a feel how Aya behaves and they also had a Japanese volunteer from the organization meet with her address any questions she had and concerns.

We basically sat down all together to discuss some of the quirky things we've noticed and to have her ask or mention anything that makes her uncomfortable so we possible can fix things on our end.

The rep spoke with us as family without Aya first to get our take and then with Aya alone to piece together what we said then we got together and discussed it as group.

Some of our questions were answered and you wonder why these questions weren't asked early on. The problem was we felt this was normal to be shy and withdrawn - but she said she was being respectful and didn't want to cause any problems. Aya told us if we see something odd - just come out and ask her what is wrong and she will try to explain.

There were a few key points that came up well all will work on:

1) Communication:

a) If we have a concern don't discuss it behind closed doors with your spouse before knowing the whole deal, instead discuss it as a group.

b) When you see if the student is depressed or not including themselves with the family - include them. Everyone regardless from what country has their own personality and Aya is a reserved person by nature.

2) Breakfast items not eaten shouldn't be left about half eaten: Half a bagel, half a pop-tart

3) Calling and planning ahead: If the student wants to stay after school text at lunch time stating the intentions in case the family has other plans.

The one thing that seemed to bum her the most are her grades, which she is trying hard but struggling in some subject to maintain a C+ as most her grades when in Japan were A's - so it came a quite a blow to her self-esteem.

We explained that 3 years of English isn't going to provide you with enough to obtain A's in an American High School in every subject. She did express that she wants us to correct her English more often - but we are somewhat jaded because my mother speaks English with a Japanese accent so we don't even bat an eye when something is pronounced wrong - we know what is meant and carry on.

As a family we told her we will correct her English on the fly to help her - she feels like her English has gotten worse not better. We will see how it goes.